Innuendictiveousness

Walking across the backdrop
Of another life
Down tunnels of time
Echoes...
My name against black skies
Forming pictures into words
Before my skin
Before my eyes
They change
Formed by my own anticipation
Grown from my mouth
Like weeds against my tongue
Echoes...
Once again into the black
Forming down into my name again
Shifting slightly
Wandering down my throat
Through the bowels of the air
Turned upside-down
To my heart
To my eyes, they form "Hello."
To my legs, they form "Goodbye."
Someone of the radiant mix smiles
Not for me to know her
Not for me to listen
But in still forms remembered
I could have caught her voice
In my leaden image of her
Heavy against a broken ribcage
I smile...
A frail entrapment of glee
Escaping all thought beside
Becoming what I always dared to dream
Lengthening the tip of a fallen sword
To pierce the reaching grasp of my words
Too rude to answered
Too polite to be heard
Angered, my face against the night
Bellows her futile name to my soul
"Wash me clean!" was my command
"You have been washed," still reply.
"I wanted much more than this!"
I could never have dreamed
If I only was the face tonight
If I wasn't an answer to the sky
If I wasn't the answer, then why?
Why could she not feel me before?
Touching her skin in the night
Watching her eyes from the shadows
When darkness' shallow cry was heard
I could not believe her name was real
She watched me, though I hid from her
She saw my eyes move to hers
Was she asleep?
Or was I?
Do I dream of her now
As I always have before?
Or soon, will I die
Peaceful and torn
Haphazard and worn
Touched by all time
And given to lies?
"I was not ignorant!" I scream
Though I doubt she ever heard
For she was
As I have always been
But what I've always been
She never was
So were we?
Or was she?
Was I alone in this?
Or did I fail her belief?
Watching from beyond my own death
Where twice I died before
I could hear her name again
A thousand voices more
In distant tunnels
Lost to time
In search of wanderers
They cry
"I too, as well as I!"
Again, their faint reply,
"As I."
Again, their distant cry,
"Then why?"
There was no answer then
Nor shall there ever be
For when do answers come?
But when seeking bids them so
And if, in time's sweet kiss
We seek to let them go
Then go, they shall
Whether gone or at home
Asleep or alone
The answers' still reply:
"As I."
And the questions to the sky
Fall answerless
To the pits of fallen promises
When promised to ourselves
We answered, twice, their cry
And expected their reply
But found in worried tongue
In ends of having none
That we, two pieces came
From night
The one, from day
To cry that weakness warrants it
In weakness then reply
But who shall answer
You?
Or I?
And if so you, then your reply?
Be honest in your cry
For against the morbid sky
Shall truth ring true in night
And then what, you reply?
Shall distance to your voice
Ring hollowed, true, or bare?
Or shall, in lengthened times like rope
You stand to take the chair?
"Fall crying."
Your name can be heard
"Fall crying and die."
An order, not a command
To be alone?
To be dead.
Were they not the same again?
Or were they to be my death?
Words, wandered answers to my mouth
As questions came like storms
"My harbored tongue no more!" I cry
As loud as loudness was
My voice, as shells against the storm
Thus broken, split, and cut
"A hero's song before me lies...
"... A hero's song before he dies."
Or was I dead?
Had I reason thus to be?
Had I ever felt the need
To thus expand, conform, confound
To fall, as sleeping, on the ground?
To watch from watchers' twice replied:
"My ache within becomes inside"
Or shall I ever drown those thoughts?
Those distant motions?
Those memories remembered?
Could I fall forward?
Could I dream to fall at all?
Or was I alone in this as well?
Was I alone all along?
So what if I was?
So what if my voice was my own?
If the voice in the sky was mine,
I was sane
I was cornered by my own misgivings
My own translations of time
My own echoes...
... And so that must be it, I'm told
But by whom, I'm not sure
There was once the one that knew
And I thought that one was you
But I've found through slowing time
That your voice has just been mine
So I echo
And so I play
Pretending to be someone's love again
Feeling special to be loved
But in the end turn up
Used
Abused
Fallen
And mistaken
But this shall wash away my pride
And in it, I shall ever ride
The night to dreams of dreaming youth
Devoid the watchful eye of truth
And calling random names, like knives
Shall cut a hole in both my eyes
And then my gaze, though raw, be true
Shall gaze upon the sight of you
And just before my blinking gaze
I shall, in heart-ward, find your face
To be a mirrored, twice reply
To mirror my engaging cry:
"If I was always, you, were me
"Then why, in changes, did I see
"That fallen face-ward, my reply
"Could thus be stated thus:
"As I?"
And laughing...
Quietly laughing...
Her morbid echo
Reply:
"As I."