Homelessness

The homeless man
In the center of the street
Walking
Looking for coins in the night
Walks slow and indeterminately
But faster than me
As I go to my home
The place I have avoided
Since the time she broke my heart a little
Using words I said were hurtful to me
As a weapon of her ignorance in love
I slowly shy away
From the cage I have prepared myself
Awaiting me at home
"What have I done?"
I wonder in this moment lost
"Who can I be with this?"
I do not know
Do I make my bed or lie in it?
Do I walk the flight of stairs?
Or take the lift
To where I care less now to be?
And if I choose the lift
Do I open the door to get out
When I reach the third floor?
Or do I wait inside for fate to send someone
To either call the lift or open the door
Deciding for me whether I stay inside
Take the third floor
Or go back the way I came
Out
Into the night?
Where bums walk in the streets
Much faster than me
Because they have the happiness of nickels
Found on pavement stained with crime
And the joy of knowing
That the night sky welcomes them
And loves that they are there for it
While I, the less and traveled by
Give more than what I am
To nothing, as it seems
But a fit of love before a slumber
And a changed demeanor on the wake
Oh kindness,
Where is that old word you said to me before?
The one you used in quiet times
To give me hope and love and more?
Where is that old softening word
That told me I deserve the world?
Can I not hear it now, just once?
Can I not know that fateful voice and chime?
Believe me, if I could, I would
Give everything again to hear that voice once more
But where am I, if lost and known?
I am exactly that, though halfly so:
So lost
And yet unknown
But I guess that makes more sense than lost and known
So should I not in this find joy?
That the normalcy of my soul:
So lost and so unknown
Is normal and not strange?
Such sweetened solace
In the shades of bitterness
Found only in the quiet depths
Of an old and dangling fate
In the old and changing wake
Of an old and quiet man
Walking
Indeterminately
Down the streets of cars and tar
And night-swept lightning street lamps
To find a fate now old and shaking
Talking crazy to the sleeping pigeons
And dancing loneliness
Like a stain
In the back of an old and battered mind
To find itself again
In the arms of one who knows the pain
Of loneliness set in
And the quiet hatred
Of a self-torn riot
Sitting hard and alone
On a cold metal chair
While the one he loves lies restfully
Oblivious or remorseless
Just a room and a half away
On the softest bed love ever knew

12:17am
2 Oct 2007
Los Angeles, Ca
Korea Town Apartment

I've Got No Pockets When I'm Naked

I've got no pockets when I'm naked
I've got no place to put things
My cell phone's small, but I can't recall
Where I've put it when it rings

I've got no pockets when I'm naked
And there isn't any space
For things like keys, or my Burt's Bees
Or a defensive can of Mace

So what am I to do, I say,
When I've lost all nooks and crannies?
If my only shot of what I've got
Is to put things in my fanny?

Should I bag it up and push it in
And hope to get it back?
Or take a stand, put out my hand
Say, "I won't do that, Jack!"

But the problem still remains, I fear
And I don't mean to be crass
But of what to do, I ask of you
And what's that ringing in my ass?

Started 6 Mar 2007, 1:33pm
Finished 24 Oct 2007, 11:15am

Booty

There once was a really great booty
That belonged to this really great cutie
Who said things like "Damn!
"You one heck of a man!
"Now come put your hand on my booty!"

12 July 2007
3:18am

Shotput

My mind is a melting old shoe
With a glass, no a bottle of booze
I could cut out the pain
And abolish the shame
Of the feeling I've nothing to lose.

But I'd wake the next day with it all
In my head, rolling round like a ball
And I'd have to then choose
The new day or the booze
To stand or to just take the fall.

So I put down my bottle of drink
And I scratch at my chin and I think
If I took the first shot
Would I lose what I've got
Or would it be more like a blink?

So I play with the ring on my hand
And I pick up the bottle and stand
To the sink I then go
And watch the cool liquor flow
Taking down the escape I had planned

Now I smile and I turn to my past
And I say to myself with a laugh
"Man, it just ain't that way
"'Cause the past ain't today
"And the future is coming up fast."

So I take a new step on my own
Without liquor or smoke or a bone
And I'm cutting away
And facing the day
That to me once was lost and alone.

9 January 2006
11:31am

I created and wrote this poem directly in a blog on MySpace, it was the first blog entry I've ever made.

See-Ville

There's a strangeness in the air
When we all are caught wearing the same cologne
When the wind blows down the avenues
And you can't stand the sunlight
Reflecting off the windows of passing cars
Everything fits into perspectives
That make you think that life is changing
But all that you're getting for Christmas
Is a fixed-up holiday and a reason to be home
But there isn't a chase scene to cut to here
And there's no room on your hand left for words
So you try to remember the smell in the air
And the taint of its worn out perfume
As you smile the day into the past
And hope that it makes it to your memory

-Joshua McLerran