Satan himself
in the form of a small child
is barking just outside of my door
I can hear him
cutting the walls with his sin-drenched fury
some call them tears
but I call them satan's little rain drops
20 Sept 2007
5:43pm
Showing posts with label Origin: ?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Origin: ?. Show all posts
26 October 2007
25 October 2007
Something Less Imagined
I closed my eyes against the darkness of a night I'd once forgotten
And changed the way I knew to feel
into something less imagined
Something less...
Real
Somewhere in the middle
With you and a box of sandwiches
A dream made somewhat slanted
And a shape made up of stars
"Play your cards right, my boy,"
A voice from somewhere deep within me sings
"And you just might win her heart tonight."
But I knew I could not
Not with dreams shaped like old beliefs
And colored in the nighttime with a handle
To an old and leering world
I knew I had moved on from there
From there...
Such a world so far away
Disheveled in the corner
Now I lie
Waiting for the turn of love
To stroke again its chime
And call me to a place of waked beliefs
And allow me once again
To close my eyes and then forget
The chill of the night I left behind
So long ago
Oh, how long ago
When it was
When you had loved me so
And I was more than this to you.
4 May 2007
3am
And changed the way I knew to feel
into something less imagined
Something less...
Real
Somewhere in the middle
With you and a box of sandwiches
A dream made somewhat slanted
And a shape made up of stars
"Play your cards right, my boy,"
A voice from somewhere deep within me sings
"And you just might win her heart tonight."
But I knew I could not
Not with dreams shaped like old beliefs
And colored in the nighttime with a handle
To an old and leering world
I knew I had moved on from there
From there...
Such a world so far away
Disheveled in the corner
Now I lie
Waiting for the turn of love
To stroke again its chime
And call me to a place of waked beliefs
And allow me once again
To close my eyes and then forget
The chill of the night I left behind
So long ago
Oh, how long ago
When it was
When you had loved me so
And I was more than this to you.
4 May 2007
3am
Then My Pride, Now My Wastefulness
I laugh unexpectedly
leaving nothing that i was for granted
talking without taking
asking without wanting
i clamber to the way I was before
changing myself again
to the way that i will be
your eyes, like fire
torture me
call me back to you
and cull me from the crowd of who i am
i stagger now omnipotent
into a bumbled world of whole misfortunes
and a shameful life of greed
and solitude
I shelter what was then my pride
and now my wastefulness
and give up on it all again
29 Dec 2006
10pm
leaving nothing that i was for granted
talking without taking
asking without wanting
i clamber to the way I was before
changing myself again
to the way that i will be
your eyes, like fire
torture me
call me back to you
and cull me from the crowd of who i am
i stagger now omnipotent
into a bumbled world of whole misfortunes
and a shameful life of greed
and solitude
I shelter what was then my pride
and now my wastefulness
and give up on it all again
29 Dec 2006
10pm
For Love's Own Sake
Below the face of time
A changed, eclipsing world
of letters from who I was before we met
comes drawing to a close
and sighs -
a formed anticipation of time-
a mimic of the world I'd come to know
takes me from this changing moment
and reminds me of the moments next
where you are more than light
more than sky and peaceful eloquence
more than beauty
or a thing called love
and in it I am more than this to you
we each, in dancing knowing ways
give love the slip
and go to something better
something love has never known
for if love knew the things we felt
it would become jealous
and perhaps stop giving of itself to others
so for love's own sake
and for the sake of those who are in love
we silently slip away together
into this new word we've formed
that means something more than anything
and nothing more than us.
3 July 2007
For my beautiful wife, before we were married.
11:38pm
I wrote this in front of her while we were video-chatting.
A changed, eclipsing world
of letters from who I was before we met
comes drawing to a close
and sighs -
a formed anticipation of time-
a mimic of the world I'd come to know
takes me from this changing moment
and reminds me of the moments next
where you are more than light
more than sky and peaceful eloquence
more than beauty
or a thing called love
and in it I am more than this to you
we each, in dancing knowing ways
give love the slip
and go to something better
something love has never known
for if love knew the things we felt
it would become jealous
and perhaps stop giving of itself to others
so for love's own sake
and for the sake of those who are in love
we silently slip away together
into this new word we've formed
that means something more than anything
and nothing more than us.
3 July 2007
For my beautiful wife, before we were married.
11:38pm
I wrote this in front of her while we were video-chatting.
Awakening to Non Faccia Donna
I've always thought you were beautiful
She said to me
Those words I longed to hear.
I boasted of my love for her.
She kindly smiled
And touched her soft face to her hand
To hide the tear she felt would surely fall
Had she not the will to look away.
Her voice,
Even softer,
Coursed its way through my bones
To the very epicenter of all that I know I am,
To the core of my self
Where I had not yet discovered
That my love for her resides,
Safe and protected
From all of life's harmful tragedies.
I could not but fall as she spoke of her love.
She held my knees with her words,
For my strength had surely failed them
The moment her lips touched the air with those words.
I could but scarcely fathom her eyes,
As though somehow they were held between the glare of the sun
And the depth of all time
To rest gently
And kindly
On my own.
Her lips formed my name
In a question
To purpose my response for all that she had said.
And I,
In my frail and uncivilized voice,
A crackling form,
Broken and mended all at once by her love,
Could not but as utterance,
Softly,
Slightly,
And coarsely reply:
“I love you”
As her whispering form fell from the sky to my lap
To bring hope to my days
And bring life to my nights.
I can feel all that she is through the beat of her heart
As her soft silken hands stroke my head with her words,
Standing echoes of all she had said,
Dance through my head as I dream of her.
I could not but help to hold her tightly
As she spoke my name,
Whispering for my sake,
For she supposed me asleep,
Which I was,
But of what she knew not
Was that all of her words
And all that she was
All that she is
And now all that she holds
Was always my dream
And always my wish,
And those words and my name...
Always a part of me
And always were they known to me,
For I had been seeking her
And searching for her
Since the time we first parted,
Since the first time I dreamed,
When I knew not of dreams,
When a dream was no more than a colored wish sleeping,
I knew of her love
And I knew of her voice
And since the first time I awakened,
I've been searching for her,
So long and so hard I have looked
And at last
At this moment,
When my eyes were so closed,
With my head on her breast
And my heart in her hands,
As she wondered if I ever knew her before,
If I could fathom her love for me,
If my skin could be hers,
Her heart could be mine,
If my heart and hers
Were as delicately real and the same
As she felt they were,
As she wondered,
She knew,
For through all of her travels,
Through all of her life,
Through time,
Space,
And stars
She had seen me smiling,
Still,
Poised and waiting,
Silent against the back of her soul
Waiting for the moment
When dreams would no more exist
Or be all that we know to be real,
All that we know to be held as truth,
For each of us knew
We were once,
We are now,
And we shall be
for evermore.
She said to me
Those words I longed to hear.
I boasted of my love for her.
She kindly smiled
And touched her soft face to her hand
To hide the tear she felt would surely fall
Had she not the will to look away.
Her voice,
Even softer,
Coursed its way through my bones
To the very epicenter of all that I know I am,
To the core of my self
Where I had not yet discovered
That my love for her resides,
Safe and protected
From all of life's harmful tragedies.
I could not but fall as she spoke of her love.
She held my knees with her words,
For my strength had surely failed them
The moment her lips touched the air with those words.
I could but scarcely fathom her eyes,
As though somehow they were held between the glare of the sun
And the depth of all time
To rest gently
And kindly
On my own.
Her lips formed my name
In a question
To purpose my response for all that she had said.
And I,
In my frail and uncivilized voice,
A crackling form,
Broken and mended all at once by her love,
Could not but as utterance,
Softly,
Slightly,
And coarsely reply:
“I love you”
As her whispering form fell from the sky to my lap
To bring hope to my days
And bring life to my nights.
I can feel all that she is through the beat of her heart
As her soft silken hands stroke my head with her words,
Standing echoes of all she had said,
Dance through my head as I dream of her.
I could not but help to hold her tightly
As she spoke my name,
Whispering for my sake,
For she supposed me asleep,
Which I was,
But of what she knew not
Was that all of her words
And all that she was
All that she is
And now all that she holds
Was always my dream
And always my wish,
And those words and my name...
Always a part of me
And always were they known to me,
For I had been seeking her
And searching for her
Since the time we first parted,
Since the first time I dreamed,
When I knew not of dreams,
When a dream was no more than a colored wish sleeping,
I knew of her love
And I knew of her voice
And since the first time I awakened,
I've been searching for her,
So long and so hard I have looked
And at last
At this moment,
When my eyes were so closed,
With my head on her breast
And my heart in her hands,
As she wondered if I ever knew her before,
If I could fathom her love for me,
If my skin could be hers,
Her heart could be mine,
If my heart and hers
Were as delicately real and the same
As she felt they were,
As she wondered,
She knew,
For through all of her travels,
Through all of her life,
Through time,
Space,
And stars
She had seen me smiling,
Still,
Poised and waiting,
Silent against the back of her soul
Waiting for the moment
When dreams would no more exist
Or be all that we know to be real,
All that we know to be held as truth,
For each of us knew
We were once,
We are now,
And we shall be
for evermore.
30 September 2007
The Chicken-Kisses Girl
My Girl gives me chicken kisses
In flavors like a quickly changing green
And yellow in the morning-time
She takes a moment to be quick with me
In her kisses
Because she's always thinking
Always on the go
But she kisses me
With chicken-quickness
And the thoughtfulness of a girl in love
Just to let me know she cares
And that even though her mind is racing
And the million skies above her shift awhile
She still has time to come to me and say
With quick-like pecks of silent kissfulness
That she loves me
And there's nothing more I need from her
Than that
2:00pm
30 Sept 2007
In flavors like a quickly changing green
And yellow in the morning-time
She takes a moment to be quick with me
In her kisses
Because she's always thinking
Always on the go
But she kisses me
With chicken-quickness
And the thoughtfulness of a girl in love
Just to let me know she cares
And that even though her mind is racing
And the million skies above her shift awhile
She still has time to come to me and say
With quick-like pecks of silent kissfulness
That she loves me
And there's nothing more I need from her
Than that
2:00pm
30 Sept 2007
24 June 2007
Dangling Moments of Torn-up Beliefs in Vicissitude
I have never shown this to anyone:
My heart
My soul
My everything you are to me
Like distance turned to grapevines
Turning into things I change them to be
Being things into which I've changed myself
I feel the weight of weightlessness
Turning and turning
In a star-borne tortured old sky
Believing in things like angels
And the possibility of love
On a silent Autumn night
When the stars come out to shine
Just long enough to show the clouds
The reality of who they were to be
I hate this poem now
I guess I'll stop while I'm behind.
24 June 2007 10:00pm
My heart
My soul
My everything you are to me
Like distance turned to grapevines
Turning into things I change them to be
Being things into which I've changed myself
I feel the weight of weightlessness
Turning and turning
In a star-borne tortured old sky
Believing in things like angels
And the possibility of love
On a silent Autumn night
When the stars come out to shine
Just long enough to show the clouds
The reality of who they were to be
I hate this poem now
I guess I'll stop while I'm behind.
24 June 2007 10:00pm
30 April 2007
I, Before the Stars
I look about me to the stars I rest upon
I notice millions more beyond
I watch them as they drift toward me
I wonder at their brilliance
I wonder...
Was I placed before them?
Or they before me?
I notice millions more beyond
I watch them as they drift toward me
I wonder at their brilliance
I wonder...
Was I placed before them?
Or they before me?
Loneliness Part Two
So I wander my eyes as well
across the backs and the faces
of those who pass us by
wondering from where they each have come
hoping for the next to be my love
but finding none as yet in the faces
I turn them into backs
and wonder how long it will take
for the loneliness to draw me in so deeply
that all I will ever see are backs
and the smiles that turn my way
will be for my painful heart to see
that they are not meant for me then
but for me when I knew them
when I saw them
But as for now
I do see them
I do know them
and I welcome their loneliness
no matter how drawing
for it is their loneliness
when they share it with me
that makes me feel I'm not alone
across the backs and the faces
of those who pass us by
wondering from where they each have come
hoping for the next to be my love
but finding none as yet in the faces
I turn them into backs
and wonder how long it will take
for the loneliness to draw me in so deeply
that all I will ever see are backs
and the smiles that turn my way
will be for my painful heart to see
that they are not meant for me then
but for me when I knew them
when I saw them
But as for now
I do see them
I do know them
and I welcome their loneliness
no matter how drawing
for it is their loneliness
when they share it with me
that makes me feel I'm not alone
Loneliness Part One
as the loneliness trickles it's weary way
down the lengths of my back and my soul
I see so plainly
how I am not alone in my solitude
I am merely secluded by it
partitioned from a world
where loneliness travels in crowds
and smiles merely mask it's face
but cannot hide it's presence
I see so sadly in this grayish world
a tortured gaze most common
that seems to enwrap itself
within itself
I so often see this in my friends
and those passersby
who wish not to reveal to me their thoughts
but in the simple attitude of their eyes
they reveal to me their souls
I listen to a woman speak
and notice
between the pauses
a fathomed depth indelible
measured by the words she says
made permanent in her eyes
I can tell she wishes to be seen
as independent
and free
but she has chained herself
by disregarding who she is
and what she feels
thinking she tell her heart what to know
and train her soul
as though it were hers by device
I can see in her the doubt she feels
thinking through it all
planning each step like a daydream
but never truly happy with her results
she checks again her faltered plan
to determine her reason for dissatisfaction
but finds she cannot seem to fix her heart
she wonders how it had become broken in the first place
and wanders the room with her eyes
a silently audible sigh
runs past her lips into the air
she seems
for a moment
like she wants to be kissed
but I watch her
unmoving
knowing that she does not dream of me
to kiss
she merely dreams
and had I been a face within her thoughts
then that would be all I was
to her: a face
and nothing more
so I watch her for her newest thought
as the loneliness rests deeper still within
as the dreams that I play out alone
are with her
but are not of her
for I sadly know as well
that she is not the one forever
but she will do for now
-Joshua McLerran
down the lengths of my back and my soul
I see so plainly
how I am not alone in my solitude
I am merely secluded by it
partitioned from a world
where loneliness travels in crowds
and smiles merely mask it's face
but cannot hide it's presence
I see so sadly in this grayish world
a tortured gaze most common
that seems to enwrap itself
within itself
I so often see this in my friends
and those passersby
who wish not to reveal to me their thoughts
but in the simple attitude of their eyes
they reveal to me their souls
I listen to a woman speak
and notice
between the pauses
a fathomed depth indelible
measured by the words she says
made permanent in her eyes
I can tell she wishes to be seen
as independent
and free
but she has chained herself
by disregarding who she is
and what she feels
thinking she tell her heart what to know
and train her soul
as though it were hers by device
I can see in her the doubt she feels
thinking through it all
planning each step like a daydream
but never truly happy with her results
she checks again her faltered plan
to determine her reason for dissatisfaction
but finds she cannot seem to fix her heart
she wonders how it had become broken in the first place
and wanders the room with her eyes
a silently audible sigh
runs past her lips into the air
she seems
for a moment
like she wants to be kissed
but I watch her
unmoving
knowing that she does not dream of me
to kiss
she merely dreams
and had I been a face within her thoughts
then that would be all I was
to her: a face
and nothing more
so I watch her for her newest thought
as the loneliness rests deeper still within
as the dreams that I play out alone
are with her
but are not of her
for I sadly know as well
that she is not the one forever
but she will do for now
-Joshua McLerran
And Then Becoming Qualified
beneath my clothes of skin
I wear a tattered smile
of life
of afterthought
of religion
self-doubt
and denial
I wander
through my skin alone
and find slightly changing
differences
between myself
and the wall before me
slightly, how they are
oh, how slightly they are
but I am not afraid of them
I am not shaken
by their fearsome words
and their sentences
turned inside, from out
to my eyes
I clamber through my thoughts
like jaded windscreens to the sun
and wish for talismans
good luck charms
or just the wisdom of another
to make up for my lack of faith
so I shyly take my hand away
from where?
I do not know
but the shade
that has drawn past my eyes
seems to let go
waiver
and stop
just beyond my stretching gaze
I watch myself grow stronger
reflected
in the thoughts the shadows bore
I sentence who I was to death
and step above my newfound past
shadowed no more by my doubts
I clamber again through my thoughts
to find it was my words
that held me down before
though nothing new had changed
my soul remained the same
and I
unequaled in my pride of this
undoubting to the best defense
and lingering to believe
in what I knew before as truth
what I once had said was not
and who it all made me into now
so now I am the qualified
with bones to match my soul
and though I wander
still alone
at least alone
I'm whole
I wear a tattered smile
of life
of afterthought
of religion
self-doubt
and denial
I wander
through my skin alone
and find slightly changing
differences
between myself
and the wall before me
slightly, how they are
oh, how slightly they are
but I am not afraid of them
I am not shaken
by their fearsome words
and their sentences
turned inside, from out
to my eyes
I clamber through my thoughts
like jaded windscreens to the sun
and wish for talismans
good luck charms
or just the wisdom of another
to make up for my lack of faith
so I shyly take my hand away
from where?
I do not know
but the shade
that has drawn past my eyes
seems to let go
waiver
and stop
just beyond my stretching gaze
I watch myself grow stronger
reflected
in the thoughts the shadows bore
I sentence who I was to death
and step above my newfound past
shadowed no more by my doubts
I clamber again through my thoughts
to find it was my words
that held me down before
though nothing new had changed
my soul remained the same
and I
unequaled in my pride of this
undoubting to the best defense
and lingering to believe
in what I knew before as truth
what I once had said was not
and who it all made me into now
so now I am the qualified
with bones to match my soul
and though I wander
still alone
at least alone
I'm whole
The Shadows of the Moon
I wish for the night to come
For there, I am forgotten into dreams
and the moon alone can see me stir
I am encapsulated by it's world of shadow
still moon, still glowing, and I
stirring in the afterthought of nothingness
standing in the glow of someone's
sometimes anyone's smile
for me?
for anyone
for any moment
any dream
could be better than the one I'm in
all slowness and spinning
more calloused than raw
more jaded than fitted and tried
what happenstance is this?
what conundrum have I broken into now?
have I stood for too long?
alone and sheltered now more by pride
than by a reason to be lonely
there are no reasons left for that
such folly formed
such quiet servitude to an unknown god: alone
I fight myself to stay afloat
and catch my breath to die
one last, cold moment
in your eyes
and change again
into the dreams
into the night
into the shadows of the moon
1 Mar 2007
2:33am
For there, I am forgotten into dreams
and the moon alone can see me stir
I am encapsulated by it's world of shadow
still moon, still glowing, and I
stirring in the afterthought of nothingness
standing in the glow of someone's
sometimes anyone's smile
for me?
for anyone
for any moment
any dream
could be better than the one I'm in
all slowness and spinning
more calloused than raw
more jaded than fitted and tried
what happenstance is this?
what conundrum have I broken into now?
have I stood for too long?
alone and sheltered now more by pride
than by a reason to be lonely
there are no reasons left for that
such folly formed
such quiet servitude to an unknown god: alone
I fight myself to stay afloat
and catch my breath to die
one last, cold moment
in your eyes
and change again
into the dreams
into the night
into the shadows of the moon
1 Mar 2007
2:33am
Quitting Warily and Waned
I laugh unexpectedly
leaving nothing that i was for granted
talking without taking
asking without wanting
i clamber to the way I was before
changing myself again
to the way that i will be
your eyes, like fire
torture me
call me back to you
and cull me from the crowd of who i am
i stagger now omnipotent
into a bumbled world of whole misfortunes
and a shameful life of greed
and solitude
I shelter what was then my pride
and now my wastefulness
and give up on it all again
leaving nothing that i was for granted
talking without taking
asking without wanting
i clamber to the way I was before
changing myself again
to the way that i will be
your eyes, like fire
torture me
call me back to you
and cull me from the crowd of who i am
i stagger now omnipotent
into a bumbled world of whole misfortunes
and a shameful life of greed
and solitude
I shelter what was then my pride
and now my wastefulness
and give up on it all again
Within My Bathroom For a While
The bathroom wall is a staring thing
Back at me
It looks
Un-answering
Of my questions
To myself posed in the glass
Reflecting now
I stare unflinchingly
Timed by more
Than just my gaze upon the glass
I look
Then turn away
Not truly from myself
I turn
More...away
And into things I call my depths
And whether they be depths of sorrow
Depths of gratitude
Depths of reason
Or of pride
I do not know
That I will ever know
For sure
For in knowing
As in surety
I may be sure to know
Too much
Just as turning
And in changing
I may change
To turn too much
Till I have faced my back
And back again
I face my front
A shape I touched
A caged desire
Or a page forgotten
From a life I knew before
I find myself
Within myself
And form again a world
Within a world
Within a world of reason
Within a world of hope
Within a world of changing things
And in a word
In this new world
I bravely torch the one before
And part the way behind
For the new life, grown
To be more than a seed to me
More than a plant
More than a concept of a dream
But real
In it's effervescent-like delirium
As it changes me again to me
From there within the image
Within the wall
Within my bathroom
For a while.
26 April 2007
10pm
Back at me
It looks
Un-answering
Of my questions
To myself posed in the glass
Reflecting now
I stare unflinchingly
Timed by more
Than just my gaze upon the glass
I look
Then turn away
Not truly from myself
I turn
More...away
And into things I call my depths
And whether they be depths of sorrow
Depths of gratitude
Depths of reason
Or of pride
I do not know
That I will ever know
For sure
For in knowing
As in surety
I may be sure to know
Too much
Just as turning
And in changing
I may change
To turn too much
Till I have faced my back
And back again
I face my front
A shape I touched
A caged desire
Or a page forgotten
From a life I knew before
I find myself
Within myself
And form again a world
Within a world
Within a world of reason
Within a world of hope
Within a world of changing things
And in a word
In this new world
I bravely torch the one before
And part the way behind
For the new life, grown
To be more than a seed to me
More than a plant
More than a concept of a dream
But real
In it's effervescent-like delirium
As it changes me again to me
From there within the image
Within the wall
Within my bathroom
For a while.
26 April 2007
10pm
The Faintness of Self
The wind sways gently now
It's turbulent voice, calmed
Brings me peace I did not know before
I cherish it's new silence
As I listen for the faintness of myself within
1 Mar 2002
2:07pm
It's turbulent voice, calmed
Brings me peace I did not know before
I cherish it's new silence
As I listen for the faintness of myself within
1 Mar 2002
2:07pm
My Unnoticed Knowing of You
It seems that you've passed this way before
Unnoticed
Or unrecognized
Whichever is still the same
But I've felt your presence here, I must have
Because you seem so familiar to me now
Perhaps there was a time
When we were both in this room together
Unaware of the other's existence
But able, still, to know
That someone special was close by
Perhaps our hearts knew things
That we, as of then
Did not
That we, as we are
Are perfect for one another
Not in any way perfect individually
But perfect together
Like the sunrise and a gentle breeze
We compliment each other
And are peaceful together
Like the ocean and it's waves
We are not without the other
And so I think
That perhaps you've passed this way before
Because you are familiar to me
Because you are my purest definition of love
And I cannot imagine a life where you do not exist
So you must have always been close by before
Unnoticed
Or unrecognized
Perhaps
But always close by
1 April 2007
12:00pm
I wrote this poem in 3-5 minutes
Unnoticed
Or unrecognized
Whichever is still the same
But I've felt your presence here, I must have
Because you seem so familiar to me now
Perhaps there was a time
When we were both in this room together
Unaware of the other's existence
But able, still, to know
That someone special was close by
Perhaps our hearts knew things
That we, as of then
Did not
That we, as we are
Are perfect for one another
Not in any way perfect individually
But perfect together
Like the sunrise and a gentle breeze
We compliment each other
And are peaceful together
Like the ocean and it's waves
We are not without the other
And so I think
That perhaps you've passed this way before
Because you are familiar to me
Because you are my purest definition of love
And I cannot imagine a life where you do not exist
So you must have always been close by before
Unnoticed
Or unrecognized
Perhaps
But always close by
1 April 2007
12:00pm
I wrote this poem in 3-5 minutes
Below Myself, I Cry
I cannot think of that which is not
For that which is not
Cannot be that which is now
So I swelter in my stinging heart
This image in my eye, I tear
Hoping that it's dichotomy
Will somehow bring me answers
That I could not see before
I shoulder my now heavy thoughts
And I swear by the sun I can see
But the future is not mine to know
So I learn what I can from the past
And I make what I may from the now
But I still cannot seem to abate the cold pain
That knowing you
Without having you
Instills
For that which is not
Cannot be that which is now
So I swelter in my stinging heart
This image in my eye, I tear
Hoping that it's dichotomy
Will somehow bring me answers
That I could not see before
I shoulder my now heavy thoughts
And I swear by the sun I can see
But the future is not mine to know
So I learn what I can from the past
And I make what I may from the now
But I still cannot seem to abate the cold pain
That knowing you
Without having you
Instills
Asleep and Given to Dreams
The world alone,
spinning,
comes into and out of something
that I could have once known
as control;
but I sleep on shaded moments
of a worser-than-fate eclipsed and old torn memory
from the origins of something
and the who-knows-what-else could be.
Caught now in some type of melancholiac distress call
that so long ago was the tune I gave to sleep by.
But this, like so many other old daydreams torn
was just the evidence that so pointed me
toward the old gates of my soul's entrapment:
a justification of desires;
and I, now given in to arrogance,
it's derivation, a place I keep somewhere within,
go slipping almost gracefully into an undulating sea of glass
and fixed desires:
forlorn and falsely classified
(though a cage within me sings to free itself anew)
...I guess I had a moments rest before, so why not now?
Why not a moment to be still, be quiet, calm?
A sheltered stormed-in fallacy of truth, this calm,
so I condescendingly admit;
though I can barely hear myself breathing now...
barely, I can feel the spin of the world around me take control...
barely, I can feel its shaded moments
taking me away from this:
all of this, a sleep and then a dream:
a respite from the cumbersome.
A spin into old daydreams
and a shackle seen within…
so I shut my sight-filled eyes again,
a moment more is all I need
to let the spinning take control,
and then, at some point
it will all come round again
and in a dream I'll spin again
to the tune I used to sleep by,
in a memory torn and old.
spinning,
comes into and out of something
that I could have once known
as control;
but I sleep on shaded moments
of a worser-than-fate eclipsed and old torn memory
from the origins of something
and the who-knows-what-else could be.
Caught now in some type of melancholiac distress call
that so long ago was the tune I gave to sleep by.
But this, like so many other old daydreams torn
was just the evidence that so pointed me
toward the old gates of my soul's entrapment:
a justification of desires;
and I, now given in to arrogance,
it's derivation, a place I keep somewhere within,
go slipping almost gracefully into an undulating sea of glass
and fixed desires:
forlorn and falsely classified
(though a cage within me sings to free itself anew)
...I guess I had a moments rest before, so why not now?
Why not a moment to be still, be quiet, calm?
A sheltered stormed-in fallacy of truth, this calm,
so I condescendingly admit;
though I can barely hear myself breathing now...
barely, I can feel the spin of the world around me take control...
barely, I can feel its shaded moments
taking me away from this:
all of this, a sleep and then a dream:
a respite from the cumbersome.
A spin into old daydreams
and a shackle seen within…
so I shut my sight-filled eyes again,
a moment more is all I need
to let the spinning take control,
and then, at some point
it will all come round again
and in a dream I'll spin again
to the tune I used to sleep by,
in a memory torn and old.
The Yellow Matching Man
There was a man in yellow pants
With yellow shoes to match
Who could not tear his precious heart
Because it was attached.
He laughed about the way of things
And always loved to cry,
But never did he tear his heart,
And I never knew new just why.
He called them his "Unbreakables"
When speaking of his guts.
He said that this referred to
All his innards left uncut.
And true, it was the same
For all his insides, just as well:
His stomach could take anything,
As far as I could tell.
His lungs were stronger than the wind;
His kidneys, made of stone;
And his brain would keep on working
Even when he was alone.
But none of his internal things
Interested me
The way his heart within, untorn,
Evaded all disease.
No fit of sadness, none of woe
Could ever touch this man.
It made one think perhaps that his
Uninjured heart was sand.
"But what of this? How could this be?"
I once asked him to admit.
But all he did was laugh aloud
And change the subject quick.
He said, "So how are things upon the rocks
"Of distant moons and stars?"
I said, "I'm afraid that I don't know
"Man hasn't got to Mars."
He said, "Well that's a shame,
"A real shame, you see:
"For every time I ask of that
"No one ever thinks of dreams!
"Have you been out beyond the stars?
"I say, my friend, you have!
"You've wandered through the milky way
"The future, and the past!
"You've kissed the running fountains
"Of a distant, spinning moon;
"And woke up in the raindrops
"Of an alien monsoon.
"You say you've never seen the skies
"Of planets far away,
"And this is why I laugh aloud
"At all the things you say:
"Your dreams are not a farce, my friend,
"But reality unveiled!
"And when in sleep you dance in them,
"You find your feet no longer nailed.
"Now had you sought to hold the things
"That made your dreams alive,
"And fought to make them part of you
"Within your waking life,
"Then would you find a lie, my friend?
"Or joy within a smile
"That mends the will of broken hearts
"And cleans a brain defiled?
"I say to you, this truth is truth,
"Of no other do I know!
"And that, my friend, is why my heart
"Is free of misery and woe.
"So hold your head within your dreams;
"Your heart, within your hands.
"Be ready to embark upon
"Your future where it stands.
"Be wary not to let the false
"Realities of life
"Cloud your thoughts, encage your soul,
"Or rob you of your sight.
"Now go, my friend, your dreams are real!
"Your life is not a waste!
"So go to, and partake of what
"Your soul has yet to taste!
"Be mindful of my words, my friend,
"And soon you, too shall know
"The reason why my heart is free
"Of misery and woe."
So I, prepared and changed went forth
To try what he had said,
And though I had to change a lot,
I changed myself instead.
Now when I find I'm looking out
Upon my future's past,
I think upon the words he'd said
And questions that he'd asked.
He said that I soon, too would know
Why his heart could not been torn;
And by the sound of what he'd said,
I'd feel as though reborn.
So when I think of how I see
The world from where I am,
I realize how much I've improved
Because of the Yellow Matching Man.
With yellow shoes to match
Who could not tear his precious heart
Because it was attached.
He laughed about the way of things
And always loved to cry,
But never did he tear his heart,
And I never knew new just why.
He called them his "Unbreakables"
When speaking of his guts.
He said that this referred to
All his innards left uncut.
And true, it was the same
For all his insides, just as well:
His stomach could take anything,
As far as I could tell.
His lungs were stronger than the wind;
His kidneys, made of stone;
And his brain would keep on working
Even when he was alone.
But none of his internal things
Interested me
The way his heart within, untorn,
Evaded all disease.
No fit of sadness, none of woe
Could ever touch this man.
It made one think perhaps that his
Uninjured heart was sand.
"But what of this? How could this be?"
I once asked him to admit.
But all he did was laugh aloud
And change the subject quick.
He said, "So how are things upon the rocks
"Of distant moons and stars?"
I said, "I'm afraid that I don't know
"Man hasn't got to Mars."
He said, "Well that's a shame,
"A real shame, you see:
"For every time I ask of that
"No one ever thinks of dreams!
"Have you been out beyond the stars?
"I say, my friend, you have!
"You've wandered through the milky way
"The future, and the past!
"You've kissed the running fountains
"Of a distant, spinning moon;
"And woke up in the raindrops
"Of an alien monsoon.
"You say you've never seen the skies
"Of planets far away,
"And this is why I laugh aloud
"At all the things you say:
"Your dreams are not a farce, my friend,
"But reality unveiled!
"And when in sleep you dance in them,
"You find your feet no longer nailed.
"Now had you sought to hold the things
"That made your dreams alive,
"And fought to make them part of you
"Within your waking life,
"Then would you find a lie, my friend?
"Or joy within a smile
"That mends the will of broken hearts
"And cleans a brain defiled?
"I say to you, this truth is truth,
"Of no other do I know!
"And that, my friend, is why my heart
"Is free of misery and woe.
"So hold your head within your dreams;
"Your heart, within your hands.
"Be ready to embark upon
"Your future where it stands.
"Be wary not to let the false
"Realities of life
"Cloud your thoughts, encage your soul,
"Or rob you of your sight.
"Now go, my friend, your dreams are real!
"Your life is not a waste!
"So go to, and partake of what
"Your soul has yet to taste!
"Be mindful of my words, my friend,
"And soon you, too shall know
"The reason why my heart is free
"Of misery and woe."
So I, prepared and changed went forth
To try what he had said,
And though I had to change a lot,
I changed myself instead.
Now when I find I'm looking out
Upon my future's past,
I think upon the words he'd said
And questions that he'd asked.
He said that I soon, too would know
Why his heart could not been torn;
And by the sound of what he'd said,
I'd feel as though reborn.
So when I think of how I see
The world from where I am,
I realize how much I've improved
Because of the Yellow Matching Man.
Poorly Made Too Perfect
all of this is made for us
this
our world
shaped again from you and me
and all our thoughts and dreams
I wanted something...
more than this?
not quite
maybe just like this
as we were left
to our own devices
or maybe in our own two dreams
one each inside the other's thoughts
one each within our minds
and lives
changing
becoming...
I guess we had it coming in the end:
this love
we gave up on almost everything else
just to be close again
and feel each other's breath
a portion of an eclipse and then...
to know.
the world we knew will be no more
the world anew will be our moor
and we, anew
and something more
will be
will be
will be
Forevermore.
30 April 2007
1:25am
I wrote this in about 7 minutes.
this
our world
shaped again from you and me
and all our thoughts and dreams
I wanted something...
more than this?
not quite
maybe just like this
as we were left
to our own devices
or maybe in our own two dreams
one each inside the other's thoughts
one each within our minds
and lives
changing
becoming...
I guess we had it coming in the end:
this love
we gave up on almost everything else
just to be close again
and feel each other's breath
a portion of an eclipse and then...
to know.
the world we knew will be no more
the world anew will be our moor
and we, anew
and something more
will be
will be
will be
Forevermore.
30 April 2007
1:25am
I wrote this in about 7 minutes.
