Somewhere in the heart of time
You're somehow in this heart of mine
And I cannot believe you're there, I think sometimes I think I stare
Sometimes...
I give you up for hopes
Of dreams I thought I'd never know
Of things I thought I'd never feel, these things are real, these things are
Real...
Exciting like a loss of breath
To moments lost, remember when
You knew me like I know you know me, like I know you know
Me...
My heart...
My everything you are to me, most everything you are to me, to me
To me...
You are most everything
I'd give you heart-shaped diamond rings
And love you till the moon goes out. The silly moon, the silly moon
Is...
Nothing but a dimmer light
To what we are and you and I
Give hope to more than what we are, we are much more than what we are
We are...
But if we were much more than this
Then I'd explode inside your kiss
And there would be much less of me to kiss, exploded
Memory...
Of who we were before we were
A little more than just dessert
And I can see your eyes, they turn to me and shape the skies
Into...
Us...
And now we are much more again than what were back then...
Thursday, 26 July 2007, 11:04am
Showing posts with label 2007. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2007. Show all posts
12 November 2007
26 October 2007
Not a Cute Kid
I saw a dude the other day
He said, "Isn't that little child so cute?"
I said, "Hell no!"
And punched both him and the kid
Just for saying so.
20 Sept 2007
5:43pm
He said, "Isn't that little child so cute?"
I said, "Hell no!"
And punched both him and the kid
Just for saying so.
20 Sept 2007
5:43pm
Satan the Kid
Satan himself
in the form of a small child
is barking just outside of my door
I can hear him
cutting the walls with his sin-drenched fury
some call them tears
but I call them satan's little rain drops
20 Sept 2007
5:43pm
in the form of a small child
is barking just outside of my door
I can hear him
cutting the walls with his sin-drenched fury
some call them tears
but I call them satan's little rain drops
20 Sept 2007
5:43pm
Homelessness
The homeless man
In the center of the street
Walking
Looking for coins in the night
Walks slow and indeterminately
But faster than me
As I go to my home
The place I have avoided
Since the time she broke my heart a little
Using words I said were hurtful to me
As a weapon of her ignorance in love
I slowly shy away
From the cage I have prepared myself
Awaiting me at home
"What have I done?"
I wonder in this moment lost
"Who can I be with this?"
I do not know
Do I make my bed or lie in it?
Do I walk the flight of stairs?
Or take the lift
To where I care less now to be?
And if I choose the lift
Do I open the door to get out
When I reach the third floor?
Or do I wait inside for fate to send someone
To either call the lift or open the door
Deciding for me whether I stay inside
Take the third floor
Or go back the way I came
Out
Into the night?
Where bums walk in the streets
Much faster than me
Because they have the happiness of nickels
Found on pavement stained with crime
And the joy of knowing
That the night sky welcomes them
And loves that they are there for it
While I, the less and traveled by
Give more than what I am
To nothing, as it seems
But a fit of love before a slumber
And a changed demeanor on the wake
Oh kindness,
Where is that old word you said to me before?
The one you used in quiet times
To give me hope and love and more?
Where is that old softening word
That told me I deserve the world?
Can I not hear it now, just once?
Can I not know that fateful voice and chime?
Believe me, if I could, I would
Give everything again to hear that voice once more
But where am I, if lost and known?
I am exactly that, though halfly so:
So lost
And yet unknown
But I guess that makes more sense than lost and known
So should I not in this find joy?
That the normalcy of my soul:
So lost and so unknown
Is normal and not strange?
Such sweetened solace
In the shades of bitterness
Found only in the quiet depths
Of an old and dangling fate
In the old and changing wake
Of an old and quiet man
Walking
Indeterminately
Down the streets of cars and tar
And night-swept lightning street lamps
To find a fate now old and shaking
Talking crazy to the sleeping pigeons
And dancing loneliness
Like a stain
In the back of an old and battered mind
To find itself again
In the arms of one who knows the pain
Of loneliness set in
And the quiet hatred
Of a self-torn riot
Sitting hard and alone
On a cold metal chair
While the one he loves lies restfully
Oblivious or remorseless
Just a room and a half away
On the softest bed love ever knew
12:17am
2 Oct 2007
Los Angeles, Ca
Korea Town Apartment
In the center of the street
Walking
Looking for coins in the night
Walks slow and indeterminately
But faster than me
As I go to my home
The place I have avoided
Since the time she broke my heart a little
Using words I said were hurtful to me
As a weapon of her ignorance in love
I slowly shy away
From the cage I have prepared myself
Awaiting me at home
"What have I done?"
I wonder in this moment lost
"Who can I be with this?"
I do not know
Do I make my bed or lie in it?
Do I walk the flight of stairs?
Or take the lift
To where I care less now to be?
And if I choose the lift
Do I open the door to get out
When I reach the third floor?
Or do I wait inside for fate to send someone
To either call the lift or open the door
Deciding for me whether I stay inside
Take the third floor
Or go back the way I came
Out
Into the night?
Where bums walk in the streets
Much faster than me
Because they have the happiness of nickels
Found on pavement stained with crime
And the joy of knowing
That the night sky welcomes them
And loves that they are there for it
While I, the less and traveled by
Give more than what I am
To nothing, as it seems
But a fit of love before a slumber
And a changed demeanor on the wake
Oh kindness,
Where is that old word you said to me before?
The one you used in quiet times
To give me hope and love and more?
Where is that old softening word
That told me I deserve the world?
Can I not hear it now, just once?
Can I not know that fateful voice and chime?
Believe me, if I could, I would
Give everything again to hear that voice once more
But where am I, if lost and known?
I am exactly that, though halfly so:
So lost
And yet unknown
But I guess that makes more sense than lost and known
So should I not in this find joy?
That the normalcy of my soul:
So lost and so unknown
Is normal and not strange?
Such sweetened solace
In the shades of bitterness
Found only in the quiet depths
Of an old and dangling fate
In the old and changing wake
Of an old and quiet man
Walking
Indeterminately
Down the streets of cars and tar
And night-swept lightning street lamps
To find a fate now old and shaking
Talking crazy to the sleeping pigeons
And dancing loneliness
Like a stain
In the back of an old and battered mind
To find itself again
In the arms of one who knows the pain
Of loneliness set in
And the quiet hatred
Of a self-torn riot
Sitting hard and alone
On a cold metal chair
While the one he loves lies restfully
Oblivious or remorseless
Just a room and a half away
On the softest bed love ever knew
12:17am
2 Oct 2007
Los Angeles, Ca
Korea Town Apartment
25 October 2007
I've Got No Pockets When I'm Naked
I've got no pockets when I'm naked
I've got no place to put things
My cell phone's small, but I can't recall
Where I've put it when it rings
I've got no pockets when I'm naked
And there isn't any space
For things like keys, or my Burt's Bees
Or a defensive can of Mace
So what am I to do, I say,
When I've lost all nooks and crannies?
If my only shot of what I've got
Is to put things in my fanny?
Should I bag it up and push it in
And hope to get it back?
Or take a stand, put out my hand
Say, "I won't do that, Jack!"
But the problem still remains, I fear
And I don't mean to be crass
But of what to do, I ask of you
And what's that ringing in my ass?
Started 6 Mar 2007, 1:33pm
Finished 24 Oct 2007, 11:15am
I've got no place to put things
My cell phone's small, but I can't recall
Where I've put it when it rings
I've got no pockets when I'm naked
And there isn't any space
For things like keys, or my Burt's Bees
Or a defensive can of Mace
So what am I to do, I say,
When I've lost all nooks and crannies?
If my only shot of what I've got
Is to put things in my fanny?
Should I bag it up and push it in
And hope to get it back?
Or take a stand, put out my hand
Say, "I won't do that, Jack!"
But the problem still remains, I fear
And I don't mean to be crass
But of what to do, I ask of you
And what's that ringing in my ass?
Started 6 Mar 2007, 1:33pm
Finished 24 Oct 2007, 11:15am
Booty
There once was a really great booty
That belonged to this really great cutie
Who said things like "Damn!
"You one heck of a man!
"Now come put your hand on my booty!"
12 July 2007
3:18am
That belonged to this really great cutie
Who said things like "Damn!
"You one heck of a man!
"Now come put your hand on my booty!"
12 July 2007
3:18am
Something Less Imagined
I closed my eyes against the darkness of a night I'd once forgotten
And changed the way I knew to feel
into something less imagined
Something less...
Real
Somewhere in the middle
With you and a box of sandwiches
A dream made somewhat slanted
And a shape made up of stars
"Play your cards right, my boy,"
A voice from somewhere deep within me sings
"And you just might win her heart tonight."
But I knew I could not
Not with dreams shaped like old beliefs
And colored in the nighttime with a handle
To an old and leering world
I knew I had moved on from there
From there...
Such a world so far away
Disheveled in the corner
Now I lie
Waiting for the turn of love
To stroke again its chime
And call me to a place of waked beliefs
And allow me once again
To close my eyes and then forget
The chill of the night I left behind
So long ago
Oh, how long ago
When it was
When you had loved me so
And I was more than this to you.
4 May 2007
3am
And changed the way I knew to feel
into something less imagined
Something less...
Real
Somewhere in the middle
With you and a box of sandwiches
A dream made somewhat slanted
And a shape made up of stars
"Play your cards right, my boy,"
A voice from somewhere deep within me sings
"And you just might win her heart tonight."
But I knew I could not
Not with dreams shaped like old beliefs
And colored in the nighttime with a handle
To an old and leering world
I knew I had moved on from there
From there...
Such a world so far away
Disheveled in the corner
Now I lie
Waiting for the turn of love
To stroke again its chime
And call me to a place of waked beliefs
And allow me once again
To close my eyes and then forget
The chill of the night I left behind
So long ago
Oh, how long ago
When it was
When you had loved me so
And I was more than this to you.
4 May 2007
3am
The Cartography of Kristen
I stumble into a drawn-out map
of you and I
and who we are becoming
a map once folded
and kept neatly in my pocket
leading us
to somewhere
important and immaculate
I find myself within it
dancing
sitting
spinning in a dreamscape
of a place I thought I'd never see
a place where you and I exist
as a thing called us
and known to love each other
we grace the world as us
and change it to be better
than it once and never was
I find us in the world and yet
so neatly by our own device
of some other world entire
and here we are
the both of us
neither stronger than the one
both happy
together in our worlds apart
on a map made of our lives
and again so neatly folded
and placed within my pocket
hidden this time
not because of uselessness
but because we both know
where we are
and we see our destination
within the other's eyes
21 May 2007
5:16 am - 5:31 am
Written about my beautiful wife, before we even started dating.
of you and I
and who we are becoming
a map once folded
and kept neatly in my pocket
leading us
to somewhere
important and immaculate
I find myself within it
dancing
sitting
spinning in a dreamscape
of a place I thought I'd never see
a place where you and I exist
as a thing called us
and known to love each other
we grace the world as us
and change it to be better
than it once and never was
I find us in the world and yet
so neatly by our own device
of some other world entire
and here we are
the both of us
neither stronger than the one
both happy
together in our worlds apart
on a map made of our lives
and again so neatly folded
and placed within my pocket
hidden this time
not because of uselessness
but because we both know
where we are
and we see our destination
within the other's eyes
21 May 2007
5:16 am - 5:31 am
Written about my beautiful wife, before we even started dating.
For Love's Own Sake
Below the face of time
A changed, eclipsing world
of letters from who I was before we met
comes drawing to a close
and sighs -
a formed anticipation of time-
a mimic of the world I'd come to know
takes me from this changing moment
and reminds me of the moments next
where you are more than light
more than sky and peaceful eloquence
more than beauty
or a thing called love
and in it I am more than this to you
we each, in dancing knowing ways
give love the slip
and go to something better
something love has never known
for if love knew the things we felt
it would become jealous
and perhaps stop giving of itself to others
so for love's own sake
and for the sake of those who are in love
we silently slip away together
into this new word we've formed
that means something more than anything
and nothing more than us.
3 July 2007
For my beautiful wife, before we were married.
11:38pm
I wrote this in front of her while we were video-chatting.
A changed, eclipsing world
of letters from who I was before we met
comes drawing to a close
and sighs -
a formed anticipation of time-
a mimic of the world I'd come to know
takes me from this changing moment
and reminds me of the moments next
where you are more than light
more than sky and peaceful eloquence
more than beauty
or a thing called love
and in it I am more than this to you
we each, in dancing knowing ways
give love the slip
and go to something better
something love has never known
for if love knew the things we felt
it would become jealous
and perhaps stop giving of itself to others
so for love's own sake
and for the sake of those who are in love
we silently slip away together
into this new word we've formed
that means something more than anything
and nothing more than us.
3 July 2007
For my beautiful wife, before we were married.
11:38pm
I wrote this in front of her while we were video-chatting.
30 September 2007
The Chicken-Kisses Girl
My Girl gives me chicken kisses
In flavors like a quickly changing green
And yellow in the morning-time
She takes a moment to be quick with me
In her kisses
Because she's always thinking
Always on the go
But she kisses me
With chicken-quickness
And the thoughtfulness of a girl in love
Just to let me know she cares
And that even though her mind is racing
And the million skies above her shift awhile
She still has time to come to me and say
With quick-like pecks of silent kissfulness
That she loves me
And there's nothing more I need from her
Than that
2:00pm
30 Sept 2007
In flavors like a quickly changing green
And yellow in the morning-time
She takes a moment to be quick with me
In her kisses
Because she's always thinking
Always on the go
But she kisses me
With chicken-quickness
And the thoughtfulness of a girl in love
Just to let me know she cares
And that even though her mind is racing
And the million skies above her shift awhile
She still has time to come to me and say
With quick-like pecks of silent kissfulness
That she loves me
And there's nothing more I need from her
Than that
2:00pm
30 Sept 2007
24 June 2007
Dangling Moments of Torn-up Beliefs in Vicissitude
I have never shown this to anyone:
My heart
My soul
My everything you are to me
Like distance turned to grapevines
Turning into things I change them to be
Being things into which I've changed myself
I feel the weight of weightlessness
Turning and turning
In a star-borne tortured old sky
Believing in things like angels
And the possibility of love
On a silent Autumn night
When the stars come out to shine
Just long enough to show the clouds
The reality of who they were to be
I hate this poem now
I guess I'll stop while I'm behind.
24 June 2007 10:00pm
My heart
My soul
My everything you are to me
Like distance turned to grapevines
Turning into things I change them to be
Being things into which I've changed myself
I feel the weight of weightlessness
Turning and turning
In a star-borne tortured old sky
Believing in things like angels
And the possibility of love
On a silent Autumn night
When the stars come out to shine
Just long enough to show the clouds
The reality of who they were to be
I hate this poem now
I guess I'll stop while I'm behind.
24 June 2007 10:00pm
30 April 2007
A Short and Loveless Poem
It's been so long since I've been in love
I remember how it used to feel:
Like everything was new
I remember waking up
So happy that I have to scream into my pillow
And when no one's looking
Jump around the house and dance
It's been so long since I've been in love
I'm forgetting how it felt
My heart grows colder with each passing day
I keep yearning for it
but I never see it
never see it
12 Mar 2007
11am
I remember how it used to feel:
Like everything was new
I remember waking up
So happy that I have to scream into my pillow
And when no one's looking
Jump around the house and dance
It's been so long since I've been in love
I'm forgetting how it felt
My heart grows colder with each passing day
I keep yearning for it
but I never see it
never see it
12 Mar 2007
11am
The Shadows of the Moon
I wish for the night to come
For there, I am forgotten into dreams
and the moon alone can see me stir
I am encapsulated by it's world of shadow
still moon, still glowing, and I
stirring in the afterthought of nothingness
standing in the glow of someone's
sometimes anyone's smile
for me?
for anyone
for any moment
any dream
could be better than the one I'm in
all slowness and spinning
more calloused than raw
more jaded than fitted and tried
what happenstance is this?
what conundrum have I broken into now?
have I stood for too long?
alone and sheltered now more by pride
than by a reason to be lonely
there are no reasons left for that
such folly formed
such quiet servitude to an unknown god: alone
I fight myself to stay afloat
and catch my breath to die
one last, cold moment
in your eyes
and change again
into the dreams
into the night
into the shadows of the moon
1 Mar 2007
2:33am
For there, I am forgotten into dreams
and the moon alone can see me stir
I am encapsulated by it's world of shadow
still moon, still glowing, and I
stirring in the afterthought of nothingness
standing in the glow of someone's
sometimes anyone's smile
for me?
for anyone
for any moment
any dream
could be better than the one I'm in
all slowness and spinning
more calloused than raw
more jaded than fitted and tried
what happenstance is this?
what conundrum have I broken into now?
have I stood for too long?
alone and sheltered now more by pride
than by a reason to be lonely
there are no reasons left for that
such folly formed
such quiet servitude to an unknown god: alone
I fight myself to stay afloat
and catch my breath to die
one last, cold moment
in your eyes
and change again
into the dreams
into the night
into the shadows of the moon
1 Mar 2007
2:33am
Within My Bathroom For a While
The bathroom wall is a staring thing
Back at me
It looks
Un-answering
Of my questions
To myself posed in the glass
Reflecting now
I stare unflinchingly
Timed by more
Than just my gaze upon the glass
I look
Then turn away
Not truly from myself
I turn
More...away
And into things I call my depths
And whether they be depths of sorrow
Depths of gratitude
Depths of reason
Or of pride
I do not know
That I will ever know
For sure
For in knowing
As in surety
I may be sure to know
Too much
Just as turning
And in changing
I may change
To turn too much
Till I have faced my back
And back again
I face my front
A shape I touched
A caged desire
Or a page forgotten
From a life I knew before
I find myself
Within myself
And form again a world
Within a world
Within a world of reason
Within a world of hope
Within a world of changing things
And in a word
In this new world
I bravely torch the one before
And part the way behind
For the new life, grown
To be more than a seed to me
More than a plant
More than a concept of a dream
But real
In it's effervescent-like delirium
As it changes me again to me
From there within the image
Within the wall
Within my bathroom
For a while.
26 April 2007
10pm
Back at me
It looks
Un-answering
Of my questions
To myself posed in the glass
Reflecting now
I stare unflinchingly
Timed by more
Than just my gaze upon the glass
I look
Then turn away
Not truly from myself
I turn
More...away
And into things I call my depths
And whether they be depths of sorrow
Depths of gratitude
Depths of reason
Or of pride
I do not know
That I will ever know
For sure
For in knowing
As in surety
I may be sure to know
Too much
Just as turning
And in changing
I may change
To turn too much
Till I have faced my back
And back again
I face my front
A shape I touched
A caged desire
Or a page forgotten
From a life I knew before
I find myself
Within myself
And form again a world
Within a world
Within a world of reason
Within a world of hope
Within a world of changing things
And in a word
In this new world
I bravely torch the one before
And part the way behind
For the new life, grown
To be more than a seed to me
More than a plant
More than a concept of a dream
But real
In it's effervescent-like delirium
As it changes me again to me
From there within the image
Within the wall
Within my bathroom
For a while.
26 April 2007
10pm
My Unnoticed Knowing of You
It seems that you've passed this way before
Unnoticed
Or unrecognized
Whichever is still the same
But I've felt your presence here, I must have
Because you seem so familiar to me now
Perhaps there was a time
When we were both in this room together
Unaware of the other's existence
But able, still, to know
That someone special was close by
Perhaps our hearts knew things
That we, as of then
Did not
That we, as we are
Are perfect for one another
Not in any way perfect individually
But perfect together
Like the sunrise and a gentle breeze
We compliment each other
And are peaceful together
Like the ocean and it's waves
We are not without the other
And so I think
That perhaps you've passed this way before
Because you are familiar to me
Because you are my purest definition of love
And I cannot imagine a life where you do not exist
So you must have always been close by before
Unnoticed
Or unrecognized
Perhaps
But always close by
1 April 2007
12:00pm
I wrote this poem in 3-5 minutes
Unnoticed
Or unrecognized
Whichever is still the same
But I've felt your presence here, I must have
Because you seem so familiar to me now
Perhaps there was a time
When we were both in this room together
Unaware of the other's existence
But able, still, to know
That someone special was close by
Perhaps our hearts knew things
That we, as of then
Did not
That we, as we are
Are perfect for one another
Not in any way perfect individually
But perfect together
Like the sunrise and a gentle breeze
We compliment each other
And are peaceful together
Like the ocean and it's waves
We are not without the other
And so I think
That perhaps you've passed this way before
Because you are familiar to me
Because you are my purest definition of love
And I cannot imagine a life where you do not exist
So you must have always been close by before
Unnoticed
Or unrecognized
Perhaps
But always close by
1 April 2007
12:00pm
I wrote this poem in 3-5 minutes
Poorly Made Too Perfect
all of this is made for us
this
our world
shaped again from you and me
and all our thoughts and dreams
I wanted something...
more than this?
not quite
maybe just like this
as we were left
to our own devices
or maybe in our own two dreams
one each inside the other's thoughts
one each within our minds
and lives
changing
becoming...
I guess we had it coming in the end:
this love
we gave up on almost everything else
just to be close again
and feel each other's breath
a portion of an eclipse and then...
to know.
the world we knew will be no more
the world anew will be our moor
and we, anew
and something more
will be
will be
will be
Forevermore.
30 April 2007
1:25am
I wrote this in about 7 minutes.
this
our world
shaped again from you and me
and all our thoughts and dreams
I wanted something...
more than this?
not quite
maybe just like this
as we were left
to our own devices
or maybe in our own two dreams
one each inside the other's thoughts
one each within our minds
and lives
changing
becoming...
I guess we had it coming in the end:
this love
we gave up on almost everything else
just to be close again
and feel each other's breath
a portion of an eclipse and then...
to know.
the world we knew will be no more
the world anew will be our moor
and we, anew
and something more
will be
will be
will be
Forevermore.
30 April 2007
1:25am
I wrote this in about 7 minutes.
29 April 2007
I Tumble Dry My Love for Seventy-Five Cents
Love is a favorite shirt I wear
On a Tuesday,
(in Spanish, that's Martes)
In a moment of weakness
Sometimes I take love off
Well, that and when I go swimming
Or if I take a shower
Usually I take love off then
I just kind of throw love on my bed
Until I'm clean again
Then I try to think
Of what I'm going to do that day
And who I'm going to see
And if I'm going to see someone
I saw the day before
I put on a different kind of love
Unless I really don't care who sees me
Then I just wear my favorite love again
And I sport it like a champ
Some might say that's dirty,
But I don't think it is
I say, if love doesn't stink
And has no visible stains
And you really dig it
Wear it
But sometimes, I'll wear love for too long,
And it does start to stink
So I have to wash it
But I can wear other loves
While it's in the hamper
But it just isn't the same,
Because I'm always thinking
Of my favorite love
And how all I want to do
Is wear it again
And sometimes,
I'll pull my favorite love out of the hamper
And I'll smell it again
Just to be sure
And usually I was right the first time
So I'll put love back in the hamper
And mope
But sometimes, I can cover love's stink
With a little cologne
But after that, It's definitely time to wash it
And once I've gone through
Enough of my other loves
To make a full load
I take them all to the washer
And with a buck seventy-five in quarters
I wash and dry all my loves
But the whole time,
I'm thinking about my favorite love
And as soon as it's dry
I put my favorite love on again
And you know what?
No matter how many times
I go through this process:
Wearing out so many loves
It always feels so right
When I wear my favorite love again
-Joshua McLerran
On a Tuesday,
(in Spanish, that's Martes)
In a moment of weakness
Sometimes I take love off
Well, that and when I go swimming
Or if I take a shower
Usually I take love off then
I just kind of throw love on my bed
Until I'm clean again
Then I try to think
Of what I'm going to do that day
And who I'm going to see
And if I'm going to see someone
I saw the day before
I put on a different kind of love
Unless I really don't care who sees me
Then I just wear my favorite love again
And I sport it like a champ
Some might say that's dirty,
But I don't think it is
I say, if love doesn't stink
And has no visible stains
And you really dig it
Wear it
But sometimes, I'll wear love for too long,
And it does start to stink
So I have to wash it
But I can wear other loves
While it's in the hamper
But it just isn't the same,
Because I'm always thinking
Of my favorite love
And how all I want to do
Is wear it again
And sometimes,
I'll pull my favorite love out of the hamper
And I'll smell it again
Just to be sure
And usually I was right the first time
So I'll put love back in the hamper
And mope
But sometimes, I can cover love's stink
With a little cologne
But after that, It's definitely time to wash it
And once I've gone through
Enough of my other loves
To make a full load
I take them all to the washer
And with a buck seventy-five in quarters
I wash and dry all my loves
But the whole time,
I'm thinking about my favorite love
And as soon as it's dry
I put my favorite love on again
And you know what?
No matter how many times
I go through this process:
Wearing out so many loves
It always feels so right
When I wear my favorite love again
-Joshua McLerran
