Quitting Warily and Waned

I laugh unexpectedly
leaving nothing that i was for granted
talking without taking
asking without wanting
i clamber to the way I was before
changing myself again
to the way that i will be
your eyes, like fire
torture me
call me back to you
and cull me from the crowd of who i am
i stagger now omnipotent
into a bumbled world of whole misfortunes
and a shameful life of greed
and solitude
I shelter what was then my pride
and now my wastefulness
and give up on it all again